It's all your fault!
by Scully2
Summary: Jack has a little accident, and gets annoyed with Sam. My pathetic attempt at sarcasm. please R


Just a quickie for you all, I've not tried sarcasm before, so thought I'd give it a go.

As always, let me know what you thought. It was just something that begged to be written after several long hours in casualty, and watching an episode of Season 7.

Don't worry though; there are no spoilers here.

Stargate: Is not mine…and never will be.

Spoilers: NIL

Rating PG.

I just changed it a lil bit, as someone noted my grammar errors, sorry folks, so here it is again. I now present It's all your fault – Take II. :O)

~~~~~~~~~~~~IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Colonel O'Neill sat in the hospital waiting room for what seemed like eternity, his fingers absently drumming against the plastic arm of the chair and the echoes resonated through the corridors as his tapping became louder. He hated hospitals, never more so than when he needed their expertise… and it was all Carter's fault.

"JACK, please. Give it a rest." Daniel shouted across the chairs.

Looking sheepish, he muttered an attempted apology. "What time is it?" Jack whined.

With her eyes closed she sighed deeply, "10 minutes after the last time you asked…sir"

 Jack's feet started shuffling, his restlessness getting the better of him. Thinking out loud he said, "Maybe I should 'sic' Teal'c on them, that would shake those doctors up!"

"Sir!"

"Jack!" 

Sam and Daniel shouted in unison. Both of them shook their heads, unable to believe that, ***that*** had come out of the Colonel's mouth. Teal'c quizzically raised one eyebrow.

"What!" Jack replied at their shocked expression. "C'mon it's been what… 10 hours now?" Jack replied impatiently looking back and forth between Teal'c, Daniel and Sam.

"It's been 4 hours, sir." Rolling her eyes upwards, she turned towards Daniel. Her eyes begged for him to help her. 

Clearing his throat he whispered in Sam's ear, "It just seems like 10 hours." 

As Daniel made his feelings clear about the Colonel's incessant whining, Sam tried desperately to not let the giggle escape from her lips. Unfortunately she was too late and her rather testy CO overheard it.

"Hey, I'm in pain here, and your laughing?" Jack replied dejectedly, surprised and ticked off that his 2IC would find this humorous.

"Sorry Sir!" Sam answered trying to keep a straight face, then turning back to Daniel mouthed "I'll get you for that."

Getting up from his seat Jack paced up and down; he hated to wait. "Why is it taking so long?" Jack grumbled.

Sam gave a look to Daniel that said 'I'm not answering that, it's your turn.'

Shifting in his seat, Daniel noticed that his bum was beginning to go numb from the hardness of the plastic chairs. "They have to Triage patients. You're not exactly a priority Jack." Daniel advised him hesitantly, watching as the Colonel stopped in his tracks and turned round to face him.

Waving his hands wildly at his co-workers, he retorted, "Doc Frasier would've fixed me up by now, but nooooo, you all insisted I come here. And it's 10 hours later and I ***still*** haven't seen a doctor!"

"I believe it is 4 hours O'Neill" Teal'c interjected.

Jack clenched his fist and screwed his face up into a tight ball. Cocking his head to one side, he believed that just one look would silence the Jaffa man. Teal'c who had frequented the Colonel's temper on many occasions completely ignored him.

"…….*And* it's all your fault Carter."

"My fault?" Sam shouted incredulously. "How is ***this*** my fault...Sir?" Sam added harshly.

Folding his arms in front of him, he walked up to her and said between clenched teeth, "Well, if you hadn't distracted me. None of ***this*** would have happened."

Daniel thought Sam's face was an absolute picture, her mouth gaped open at the thought that he would even suggest that ***this*** was her fault. Looking for support she turned her body towards Daniel. "How…"

Daniel interrupted and said, "Hey, your on your own here."

"Gee, thanks Daniel." Sam retorted moving her body back towards her CO she asked. "And just, ***how*** did I distract you?"

With his good hand he waved dismissively enunciating every word, "You gave me that look!"

Sam didn't have a clue what the hell he was talking about, she never had a look, at least she didn't think she did. "What ***look*** are you referring to, sir?"

Jack got on his high horse and said with absolutely no sign of backing down. "Well Carter, since you asked. It's the look that ***I*** normally have listening to one of your lectures."

Suddenly everything clicked into place, like a light bulb had gone off in her head, "Oh I see Colonel, the 'bored' look."

"Yeah...er, no." Jack stuttered trying desperately to dig his way out of a very big hole. 

Taking on a tone of authority for a change, she challenged him further. Sam knew full well that it was his own damn fault. "Well?"

"All right, then yes it was the bored look. You happy now?"

"No" Sam retorted angrily, "It was your own damn fault…sir, for wanting to go into that fishing shop in the first place. Daniel, Teal'c and I wanted to go out to O'Malley's, but nooooo. ***You*** needed to go get supplies for your next fishing expedition. Oh and by the way..." Carter continued getting even more annoyed. "…have you caught any fish there lately?"

Part of him was chuffed that he ticked off Carter. He rarely got to see her riled, and he loved that side of her. The other half of him was annoyed though, none of them seemed to care that he was hurting. Changing the subject totally, he let out a nasally whine that grated on everybody's ears. "Hey! I'm in pain here, and I'm getting absolutely *no* sympathy from you lot."

Teal'c and Daniel just sat by and watched the heated exchange going on between Sam and Jack. Both were more than grateful that his animosity was directed at Sam and not at them.

Sam had had enough of his incessant whining. Jack had done nothing but moan since they had arrived at the hospital and she had just about reached her limit. Trying to control her rising temper she said through clenched teeth.

"Sir! Throughout your time at the SGC you have been shot, stabbed, zatted, sprayed with acid, tortured and killed…" Finally letting go of all the pent up anger and frustration she had been holding for the last 4 hours, Sam grabbed his injured finger tightly and concluded, "...and here you are whining about a little fish hook in your finger!"

Jack stared at her, the pain increasing in his sore finger. "Oooooooowwww. Carter, that hurts."

"Good!" 

Before Jack could lay into her, a nurse approached them asking, "Are you Colonel Jack O'Neill?"

Holding his throbbing finger tightly against his chest in an effort to shield it from 'Sam abuse'. With a pained expression in his voice he replied, "Yes, that's me."

"I just need to take a quick look at your wound first." The nurse crooned softly, matching the Colonel's expression exactly. Lifting the bandage over his finger, she sucked in her breath, and proceeded to flirt outrageously with him. "Oh, that does look nasty. Come with me and I'll take care of it for you."

Jack smiled smugly, grateful that he was ***finally*** getting some well-deserved sympathy. 

Sam shook her head and muttered "Oh f'crying out loud'. This was all she needed, a nurse who empathised with him. Sam knew full well that once her CO was feeling better she would never hear the end of this.

With the nurse leading one smug looking Colonel O'Neill down the hall to the treatment area, Sam looked up at his face and caught a glimpse of Jack sticking his tongue out at her.

Her mind screamed with frustration. Sam got up and began scanning the hospital corridors looking for something.

Daniel crossed his eyes and frowned at Sam's strange behaviour. "Sam? What are you looking for?"

Sighing deeply she said, "A nice big thick wall that I can bang my head against."

Daniel tried to hide the smile that played on his lips. While Teal'c stated matter of fact, "Major Carter. If I recall, there is a strong brick wall, just around the corner."

Sam stormed down the corridor in frustration, and all you could here her shouting was, "Men!" 

Teal'c finally sat down next to Daniel and asked with all innocence, "Why were Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill acting like that, Daniel Jackson?"

Smiling serenely he replied, "Well Teal'c, you always hurt the ones you love."

"Indeed." Teal'c replied in complete understanding.

The End

So what did you think? 


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